The Peace That Passes…

This weekend it snowed in VA. It was awesome. The weather man SERIOUSLY underestimated the clouds over VA. Friday night I was like a kid on Christmas eve waiting in expectation of something new. I was so excited about the possibility of snow.

Up until this point in our winter season, I have been wearing short sleeve shirts and fleece zip ups. But I had higher hopes for the weekend. I was woken up Saturday morning with a very excited not so quiet “whisper” from my roommate Stephanie who exclaimed, “‘IT’S SNOWING!!“

I continued to lay there for a second trying to register what she said. You know how you replay words over and over in your head? “It’s snowing, it’s snowing, it’s snowing…..OH IT’S SNOWING!!!!”

I proceeded to pop up and look out my window. What I saw was a Winter Wonder Land! It looked like someone shook up the snow globe. Big fat flakes were coming down sideways. There was a nice blanket of snow covering the grass, walkways, streets, and accumulated those fun stacks on the railings.

I jumped up with camera in hand and took to the yard! Both Stephanie and I wanted to capture it all. Half dressed with no socks, one glove, sweat pants, and a long sleeve shirt, we made some quality snow women.

I love everything about a snow day. I love movies, hot beverages, snow angles, snowmen or women building, sledding, and just being covered in flakes. My competitive nature kicks in when the first snowball is thrown.

Above all that, my FAVORITE thing about the snow is one moment. There is one moment for me that is so sweet, so peaceful, and the exhale that passes all understanding. This is the moment when the sun becomes the moon and everyone has vacated the streets. This is the moment I walk outside and stand in the middle of the street. I stand in the middle of the street, looking both ways to find nothing, and I close my eyes. All I hear is nothing. No cars, no voices, not even my own thoughts….just nothing. I stand there, with flakes falling on my face, and exhale. This is the peace that passes all understanding that smiles over me. sigh….

Where is that place of peace for you?

Where is your exhale?

Grace

Grace is a hard topic for me. Grace goes against everything in me that is self-sufficient, protective, and guarded. Grace steps on my pride.

This week I can’t thank God enough for his Grace. I realize that all those things listed above keeps me stuck in me. Grace is something that over shadows my abilities and my own strengths to “fix” my own sin. Grace will always be the place that is more than me.

This week I have been more aware of his grace. I cannot fix myself. I cannot make things right using my own efforts. My efforts only make me more tired. My own efforts feel like running into the same brick wall over and over again.

The bible states, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

I know I have weaknesses. My biggest weakness right  now is trying to add my own efforts to his effortless grace.

I am still stuck on how to get through the feeling of failing. I am still working on remaining in his overshadowing grace with my shortcomings.

What do you think about grace?

Elevator Mayhem

A couple of days ago, I found myself in an unexpected afternoon of Elevator Mayhem. I work in a three-story business building. When anything goes wrong in the building, my office is called.

So this day was the day of “manual labor” for me. Chaos started around 3:00 PM. We received a call that a 90-year-old woman in a wheelchair was stuck on the elevator. Did I mention she was on oxygen? So my co-worker and I grab the utility room keys and head to the elevator. Sure enough, people are stuck inside. We found the switch which was, no joke, the same lever used to create Frankenstein. We flipped it up and down and the doors opened. Unfortunately we were on the basement level, so they had a glimpse of the hope of exiting the elevator, but to no avail. We shut the doors and I ran up a floor to meet them. We flipped the Frankenstein switch and the doors open. Poor old woman, who probably thought she had reached heaven at that point, looked stunned to see me again. “Helllllo.“

I smiled and felt like my good deed went well for the afternoon. Soon after the mini-rescue, I ran up three flights of stairs to put signs on all the elevator doors. On the third floor is a pediatrician’s office with a waiting room full of kids and moms. I walked in to let the front desk know the elevator was out of order. As soon as I said that, I heard an “OOOHH NOOO!!”

As I turned to look where the voice had come from, I see a woman who is seven months pregnant, her two toddlers, and what could only be described as their mobile home stroller in front of me. (Seriously strollers are getting out of control! Soon strollers are going to come fully equipped with hydraulics and visor with DVD players in HD that will soon be featured on “Pimp My Stroller.” Okay not a real show, but it should be!) I digress.

I said to the mom, “You’re gonna need an elevator.” I call downstairs and explain the situation. My mom grabs her cell phone and heads to Frankenstein. The doors open and I hop on with the small village. I give the word and down we head. The elevator stops and the doors open two inches. I reassure the mom that this is normal.

Here was the ridiculousness that was my eternal phone conversation:

Me: “Mom, flip the switch and wait a min.”

Mom: “Okay.” FLIP/FLIP! (door closes and opens two inches)

Me: “Seriously, that was waiting?”

MOM: “Okay” FLIP/FLIP! (door closes and opens two inches)

ME: “Okay, SERIOUSLY wait a minute!”

At this point the kids are crying as we are cutting into nap time, the mom’s water I swear was going to break, and my mom can’t wait ONE MINUTE with the flipping! Ever been in that tug of war for an hour?! My mom doesn’t believe me that we are still in the elevator, so she runs upstairs to find my face shoved in the two-inch crack. “Yep, STILL IN HERE!”

The frustration in my voice is becoming known. You know, the one hand phone cover and clenched teeth talking as if the person standing next to you doesn’t speak clenched teeth.

After one more shot with Frankenstein, my co-worker finally takes over and in one flip, we are free!!! HAAAALLELUIA!

Sigh….my suggestion….maybe take the stairs today.

The Holidays

The holiday’s seem to taste bittersweet for most. There are two months of the year that are designated for celebrating, singing, giving, and remembering. All these things can bring on the half smile effect. This is where your heart experiences both the joy and pain of this time of year.

Thanksgiving seems to start the season of intentional family time, eating a ton, sharing, or just remembering others. This can make for a highly anticipated time of year, or for some, you can’t get through it fast enough.

Sorrow and joy are closely linked together. The attitude of thankfulness  can spark the joy of being grateful for meaningful things, but it can also surface wounds remembered and the grief of loss.

For me, the holidays stir the half smile for my heart. I am so grateful for close friends, both new and old. I am thankful for hope. I am thankful for great provision and unbelievable experiences I have had this year. I sigh deep as I think through some amazing conversations I have had and things I have seen this year. In that joy, I also feel sorrow for the past of pain. I remember the brokenness in my life. I feel the weight of shared pain walking with others. I remember my restless heart and dreams still in waiting. The half smile creeps in.

In the midst of this season of ups and downs, I remember how grateful I am that God is unconditional in love and consistent in his promises for me. With him I am able to find my full smile.

What makes you half smile?

What makes your smile full?

Weight of Entanglement Part 2

Hebrews 12:1

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”

There is so much wisdom and insight packed in this verse. The writer of Hebrews describes two ways our abilities to run our life’s race can be hindered. In part one, we looked at how we can place weights on ourselves that make for a much harder race. Our weights can look like many things such as: fears, insecurities we hold tight to, false beliefs, and lies. But what about those things that so “easily entangle” us? How does entanglement hinder our abilities to run the race and run it well?

I am a person who enjoys running. I always have. Running is a source of exhale for me. I can get some great thinking done on a long run. No matter what the weather looks like I enjoy running. I am not Forrest Gump by any means, but I love me some running.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about what entanglement looks like as it pertains to running my race. Let me ask if any of you have ever run a three-legged race? It seems like every church retreat or youth weekend I have ever been on has involved a three-legged race. They are so hard. Inevitably one or both people fall because of being entangled with the other. Imagine two things with me:

1)      Imagine how long it would take to run a three-legged marathon (26.2 miles). This would  be extremely hard.

2)      Imagine how hard it would be to win a race if you were running three-legged style against a person who was running on their own.

Learning how to run our own race well is not an easy task or journey.  It requires perseverance as the writer of Hebrews states. How much harder does that run feel when we add our own weights and entanglement?

I perceive this verse two ways. First are the sins that affect my own abilities to run the race. These sins are illustrated by the weights we add. The second are the sins that so easily entangle us. These are the sins that affect others. The example of a three-legged race illustrates how we can affect one another’s ability to run well.

For me, entanglement with others looks like different things. Some of those things are: depending too much on another, caring what that person thinks over what the truth might be, and giving more weight to others’ words and thoughts over what God is saying. Basically it comes down to those things and people that I allow to take the place of God in my life. I pray all the time for awareness of entanglement. Making the choice to not be entangled in sin takes perseverance and faith that God is better.

I would love to know your thoughts on what entanglement looks like.

What does entanglement look like for you?

Weights of Entanglement Part 1

Hebrews 12:1

^“1 Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.”

Last year my good friend Stephanie and I decided to train for an intense hike we were going to attempt n a trip to Colorado. Hiking a mountain, specifically a 14′er (a mountain with a peak reaching above 14,000 ft), requires some commitment to train.

You think not being aclimated and the necessity of having to carry two large packs for 12+ hours would deter us from choosing this task. No, not us. Our hearts were bigger than  umm…reality.

So our goal was to spend every weekend for a  month hiking some  local Virginia trails wearing small backpacks equipped with 20 pounds of dumb bells each. We soon found out we were the dumb bells instead.

First time out on the trail we had that adrenaline high and the, “we can do anything” attitude. We had hiked this trail a hundred times, but I distinctly remember this time taking FOREVER!! Slowly our adrenaline turned to silence with loud huffing and serious sweating. Finally steph said the words my heart cheered for, “maybe we should pick an easier mountain.” YES!!

The writers of Hebrews illustrates our life as training for a race. Each person has a race marked out for them. There are things in this world that can weight us down. We can even chose to place extra weight on ourselves. This makes for a very hard race.

Weight can be known as our fears, lies we hold to, false beliefs, and assumptions. We can place extra weight on ourselves by choices we make that would hinder our running abilities. We can attach weight to people’s words more than we should.

Running a race well is hard. Sticking to our own paths can be even harder. We can overestimate our abilities. For some, you might underestimate your abilities. Either way our race requires perseverance and commitment.

I have spent timing adding unnecessary weight to my race. It makes for a really hard journey.

What are the names of some of your weights?

Church?

For the past couple of weeks I have loved experiencing shared conversations, wrestling truths, laughter so hard it requires some physical expression, thought provoking “hmmm’z”, singing with 1500 strangers, connections fostered through great blog hearts….the list goes on. I have walked away from many of those moments saying, “that was some great church.”

This idea of church has my thoughts marinating on what great church is. I could tell you a million different ways I have experience God in “church,: but less then half of those experiences would have to do with being in a church building.

In the bible, Jesus describes our bodies as being the temple of the holy spirit.  Yes, this verse is used in a different context, but I also think it can apply to the concept of church. We are carriers of his holy spirit. So it makes sense that where “two or three are gathered together, there he is with them.” Church!

I value having a building to attend to experience church. I am so grateful for all the ways I have known God more by “going to church.” But I am even more grateful that Church is not bound by walls or program. Church is so much more.

So here is are my ponder questions…

- How do you define church?

- What is your ideal church?