Ecclesiastes 1:18 states, “for with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge the more grief.”
I have been mulling over this verse for a while. I am understanding more and more the knowledge that evokes grief. With wisdom and really “getting it,”comes with a deep ache of what should be or should have been, but is not.
In my life I have faced many, what only could be described as, Goliath grief. I have known the deep pain of a broken family. I have wrestled with the grief of broken relationships that I thought were for life. I have experienced grief by walking with close friends in their seasons of grief. I have known grief as life has been lost too soon for friends and family. I have known grief.
Grief can be felt for a short period of time or for what makes life seem like a slow eternity. Grief has no time line. It has no starting or end point, and it is very unpredictable in weight of feeling. Grief lingers in a way that seems to leave one exhausted and full of ache.
What do we do with grief? What do we do with that ache that seems impossible to release? What do we do with something that seems to consume without warning?
This week I want to talk more about what grief is, what the grieving process is all about, and what to do with something that may have a Goliath grip on your life.
i need this. thank you, sweet friend…
thank you for you. rowing for your grief all the time.
I agree that with knowledge comes grief. I lost my father and brother when I was 2 1/2 years old. I still grieve for what could have been. I grieve in different ways in different seasons. It hits me in new and different ways as I learn more about myself and ponder what could have been different. But God has a good and perfect plan for each of us. That doesn’t mean that grief does not overcome me sometimes, but I know and trust and the Lord will not give me more than I can handle. He is there, I just have to go to Him – that’s sometimes the hard part. I share a birthday with my brother – to this day I acknowledge his birthday alongside mine. Its hard. Grief is no fun, but the Lord is good. He is good all the time.
Lourenda,
You are so right, grief is not fun. I am so sorry to hear about your family. you have a double loss. that is so hard. I love how you lean into the Lord. Sounds like you how to find and see God in your grief. that is what matters the most.
That verse makes me think of the Father. He has all wisdom and all knowledge. How great must His sorrow be over all the grief and pain and sin in our lives and in the world? Maybe that’s why He “rejoices over us with singing.” Maybe that’s why Jesus had compassion on the people (Matthew 14). He feels our pain as the Man of Sorrows and He also knows the joy that comes after and sometimes in the midst of it all.
Hey Ben,
Such great thoughts on grief. I really like your perspective of the father mourning over us. Joy and sorrow seem so closely linked together. I will be talking more about the father and grief in tonight’s blog. would love to hear more of your thoughts on that.
thanks for commenting!
We reach out to God in and through our grief.
Thanks and God bless,
Michael
So true Micheal! Thank you for saying something on here. Always appreciate thoughts!
“What to do we do with grief?” I am realizing I’ve been doing everything I can to avoid grief by trying to move faster than my grief, if that makes any sense? Everything I’m doing seems to be just a consumption of whatever I can to keep moving and not fall victim to the grip of paralyzing grief.
Now I’m tired and guess what’s caught up with me? It’s like I’m the Hare and grief is the tortoise. I take a nap and boom, grief is right there when I wake up.
I appreciate finding your post Tracee, and I love your Mantra “Believe Different, Live Different”. I have experienced that to be very true, I guess I just wanted to feel a part of something bigger, which is why I posted.
Building a community of friends has been one of the ways I’ve been avoiding grief, instead of using it to deal with my grief. I don’t know how to feel safe letting grief be known by people/friends these days. I don’t want to be seen as the guy who’s going through some shit, anymore… which really is my own perception and refusal to acknowledge that I am that guy right now.
Today, I ran out of steam and that grief tortoise caught up with me. Thank you for being here and sharing yourselves even though this is an older post. Thank you.
perfect example with the Tortoise and the Hare. I get that very much. It’s so hard to sit in the midst of grief. I’ve learned that ignoring it, or dealing with it seems to both evoke that caving in feeling. Choosing the hard of pushing through grief is just that, choosing the hard. it often gets/feels harder before it gets better. It’s definitely not a linear process. i dip in and out of grief all the time. the sting gets less.
I have known friends for comfort instead of healing. it does work for a time, but grief still awaits. I am really sorry you are feeling the sting of grief. you are not being “that guy” either. You are cared about and loved. i really hope your same friends will crowd around you and support you. kinda like the dudes who took their friend on a mat to Jesus. i really hope you have those kind of guys.
I really really appreciate your risk to talk in this space. i don’t take that lightly. thank you. Will you let me know how the process goes?
perfect example with the Tortoise and the Hare. I get that very much. It’s so hard to sit in the midst of grief. I’ve learned that ignoring it, or dealing with it seems to both evoke that caving in feeling. Choosing the hard of pushing through grief is just that, choosing the hard. it often gets/feels harder before it gets better. It’s definitely not a linear process. i dip in and out of grief all the time. the sting gets less.
I have known friends for comfort instead of healing. it does work for a time, but grief still awaits. I am really sorry you are feeling the sting of grief. you are not being “that guy” either. You are cared about and loved. i really hope your same friends will crowd around you and support you. kinda like the dudes who took their friend on a mat to Jesus. i really hope you have those kind of guys.
I really really appreciate your risk to talk in this space. i don’t take that lightly. thank you. Will you let me know how the process goes?
“Grief lingers in a way that seems to leave one exhausted and full of ache.”
As a father having lost his little one to the all consuming power of death just recently, my only thoughts are: Where is she now? My pain comes from not knowing, because it was my job to protect her but sudden heart failure or death, call it what you want robbed me of this privilege and of the most precious and adorable child who loved us unconditionally as we did her. I cannot taste heaven at this time, I am not angry with God, but just lost in my loss. I have tried to blog on this subject to alleviate my fears and to try to illicit the loss of love, but I just stopped by to thank you for your reflection.
http://anamcara3.wordpress.com/2011/07/15/the-day-the-light-went-out/
Paul, thank you so much for your honest and raw thoughts. Can’t imagine the life that feels knocked out of your heart. Can’t imagine the void you feel in your everything. I’m so sorry for your deep grief.
Running this series again. Grief seems to be hitting a lot of people hard these days. Hoping you feel him in the midst of everything. Thank you again for risking to share.