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coaching

There have been so many seasons in my life where I have needed someone to help me make sense of it all. I am restless by nature. I love starting new things, and I am ALWAYS dreaming. There is a tension that comes with finding the path through the passions of my heart.

We all need help. We all need people.

I am a huge fan and proponent of counselors, mentors, and life coaches. Over the course of my life, I have worn the hat of all three roles. I have also been the recipient of all three of these gifts as well. I have found that there is nothing more life giving for me then when I am helping others wrestle through the reality of life’s challenges.

I love people.

I love helping and empowering people to figure out the puzzle pieces of their own hearts. Our challenges and question marks matter. Our restlessness is motivating and directionally based. Our hurts and pain are real. They matter. YOU matter!

I just have launched my new endeavor of Life Coaching! For the past decade I have been working in the counseling field. I have my Master’s in Professional Counseling. I am really excited to start something new. I always say that my dream job would be sitting at Starbucks all day long and meeting with different people. So let’s do this!

Some of you may be wondering what Life Coaching is all about. Let’s be honest, we all have places we feel stuck in life. Everyone is unique in their own process. No two challenges are the same. Coaching is in place to help you get unstuck – gain wisdom and understanding about how to move forward. You might be wrestling with turning your dreams into reality, shifting careers, navigating relational conflicts, developing boundaries, or relearning healthy life habits. It all matters.

So here are my questions for you. Do you find yourself day dreaming about doing something else than your current career? Are you frustrated with dealing with the same issues all the time? Are you bored and restless? Do you know what you are passionate about? Are you doing those things?

We are all created with unique personalities and gifting. I really want to help you figure out the best YOU, you are created to be.

Let’s talk coaching.

Click HERE to learn more about what coaching is and to SIGN UP for coaching with me.

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oneword2012

I can’t believe we are halfway through this year! It seems like time has flown by.

I started out this year out of breath and crawling forward. I was scraping at the bottom of the barrel for joy and hope. I felt like for every step forward one of those huge hammers from Wipe Out would slam me nine steps back. Ouch.

I chose healing as my Oneword365.

Healing takes time.

Healing takes a process of really doing the hard work. I have been learning the truth that I have to choose the hard to get to the healing. Nothing changes if I don’t change up some patterns and habits.

I still don’t feel far enough into the process to say I have had these huge breakthroughs, but I guess that is the point of a midway mile marker. I am definitely not in the same low place I was in six months ago. I also have a little more hope and courage.

Healing is the process of renewing strength.

Fighting takes an insane amount of energy – both emotionally and physically. Fighters train for months to be able to last one match. I am gaining strength to fight through my fears and retrain the lies I’ve been living on. Strength has been a huge victory. Without it, I was running on empty and had no stand left to fight for myself. This just created a cycle of unhealthy living.

Slowly but surely I am rediscovering the puzzle pieces of my heart. He is making all things new in me. Although I still feel like the wind gets knocked of me, but instead of being thrown 9 steps back it’s only 5. Hoping six months from now those steps will continue to decrease.

The process of healing is the process of relearning.

When I broke my collar bone it took me so long to regain normal movement and rotation. Everything hurt and needed compensation. After a while I regained strength and relearned how to use my shoulder. Similarly, I am learning how to see myself, set healthy boundaries, and fight for my own voice and dreams. This process has opened up new words I want to speak, and new visions for my life.

Imagine that…

Hoping for more healing these next six months.

How is your halfway point going?

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life chapter

Every season of life has it’s eb’s and flows. Every chapter is written with both beginnings and endings – joy and sorrow. New characters, dreams, and life lessons are introduced, as well as new hurts and grief. Maybe these are just the realities of growing pains, but no season or chapter is ever easy.

I look back and can see my different struggles and areas of growth through every season. College ignited questions of identity and faith; interestes and direction. After college surfaced the tension of anxiety and dream. Wide open spaces of creativity and curiousity led the charge. My late twenties and early thirties have brought about new dreams, locations, and career shifts. It has been in these last few chapters where I feel like I have fumbled around the most.

Every season carries the weight of real trials and challenges.

Every season carries with it current issues for that age bracket. The things that I struggle with in my early thirties are not the same as those issues that seemed hard in college. However,  I do believe that each chapter brings with it the challenge of identity and community.

College

College is easy to find somewhere to belong. People were always readily availableto interact with and cultivate lasting relationships. Post college begins the effort to find community. The abundance of people groups drastically diminish after college. So we find small groups, work friends, or maybe join a running group.

20/s 

The twenties begin the stage of “all your friends” starting to get engaged and married. You might even experience a time of long-term transition with moving to a new city, or experiencing the revolving door of friends moving away.

The questions of our twenties looks like, “Do I want to be married?” and “what do I want to do in life?” In this stage, we are still fumbling around trying to figure out who we are and where we fit.

30’s

My thirties have been a variation of my twenties. I am more comfortable with who I am. My dreams and career are taking on a much clearer form. But the questions change a bit in this chapter. The question of the thirties look more like, “why am I not married?” and “why is community so hard?”

Community is a challenge in every season, but the thirties bring with it a grey area of no place to land. We are the “in-betweeners” for church ministries, as in we are not college kids, or young adults (groups dominated by early 20’s folks.) We are the not-sure-where-you-fit group.

By this stage most friends, who got married in my 20’s stage, are now on their second or third kid. So I  experience an even more displaced and lonely feeling as a single person. Finding good community seems like the biggest challenge in this chapter of life. As a single person, how do I fit with my married friends? In a church community, where is the place I can land where there are other’s “like me?”

As a married person, I wonder if you struggle with trying to know how to relate to your single friends, or even friends with kids.

Every stage of life has it’s question marks and challenges.

What are YOUR  questions and challenges in YOUR season?

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The one thing we seemed to master as children is the concept and value of possessing. From kindergarten on we have had to learn the lesson of “sharing” with others. This world, especially this culture, teaches us to think individualistically. We can take on the attitude of pride and entitlement with our valued “things.”

We hold onto things, and sometimes guard them with our lives. Out of survival, we can hoard our possessions wondering if we will need them.

Our culture teaches us to give out of the abundance of what we have. Generousity is measured not by the whole pie, but the slice that is given. We give because we “have it.” Most often what we term as “giving” is associated with money.

What about giving out of what you don’t have?

Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny.

The widow in this story gave all she had without expecting anything in return. She submitted all she had with a profound sense of freedom from possession. This woman shows us a great example of how she lived her life not saying “mine”, but “yours.

Maybe she did worry about provision. Maybe it took her a long time to release those coins. But she did. This brave woman, already labeled “poor” gave all of what she did not have. She was not safe. She had no security net to fall back on. She gave out of risk and poverty. It means everything.

Do you give in a way that stretches you?

Giving is not just financially related. Giving out of what we don’t have can look like our time, emotion, weakness, struggles, and energy. Giving can look like being present when you are too tired. Giving can look like just believing when your frustrations of waiting are high.

Jesus introduced a principle of love in the gospels. He says, If you love only those people who love you, will God reward you for that? Even tax collectorslove their friends. If you greet only your friends, what’s so great about that? Don’t even unbelievers do that?”

I think the same principle applies with giving. If we give what we have, what risk is that for us? Anyone can give out of their abundance. Be different. Give what is stretching. Give what you don’t have, and even what you may not want to.

Giving out of what we don’t have enables faith. Jesus attributed faith to the widow who gave her last two coins.

For you, what does it mean to give what you don’t have?

 

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Social media is just that Social. hands-texting-

There are so many ways to interact, communicate, and meet people online.

Thousands of people use social media for thousands of things.

I love being on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram! I LOVE PEOPLE! I love connecting with people from all over the world. It is so dang fast, and so dang fun. Don’t get me wrong, boundaries are so necessary and important, but I twitter to connect with the heart’s of others.

I blog because I am passionate about conversations. I love community conversations. I love when community connects. I love watching other people connect. The heart to teach runs deep in me.  I love what challenges the heart. I am all about providing a topic and place to talk.

Why do YOU?

why are you on Twitter?

Why do have a Facebook account?

If you blog, Why?

What is your motivation to be online in some capacity?

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Love is a word that seems to be so easily dismissed in my brain. Love is one of those convoluted words that seem to carry so many different levels of meaning. I hear love being tossed out all the time. We use it to describe things we like. We use love at the end of conversations and family gatherings. We also use love as a description word that translates into deep meaning.

Love runs deep in me

I would describe myself as someone who loves deeply. I value the word love very much. I do not toss that word out flippantly. I want to be a person who loves deeply. I want to show love to others in a way that they never knew was possible. Honestly, I love loving.

However, there resides a dark place in me that can’t seem to grasp reciprocated love. I dismiss love so quickly that it just ricochets off my guarded heart. As I find great joy in loving others, I see myself as unlovable. Some reasons because that has been the message told to me, and some my own self perception from life. When someone tells me that they love me the words seem to echo without a place to land inside of me.

Dismissing love serves two purposes in my life.

The first comes from the core of knowing pain and wounds that run deep in me. I have experienced grief from loss of relationships I valued greatly. In my efforts to guard against pain, feeling loved has little room to take root. To allow love to take root in me would mean risking pain. Some where along this road of grief I traded in my heart, desperate to know love, for safety.

The second purpose is an extension of the first. Experiencing deep loss, and relational wounds, has rocked my self-perception. In the midst of that pain, I believe in the lie that says, “I am not enough” and “I am not worth loving.” My skewed self-perception and relational wounds have told me that I only worth conditional love at best. Those lies have dictated many courses in my journey.

In the past couple of years, I have learned that the only way to dispel a lie is with truth. Truth has a louder voice than the lie. Truth is sustaining where as lies require me to anchor them. There is only one who has claimed to be “the way, the truth, and the life.

Truth tells me that I am loved. Truth states that we know love “because he first loved us.” Love laid down his whole life so that the vail of my own self-perception would be torn in two.

I am still in a place of wrestling through doubt that the word love applies to me. I still experience pain where that message seems true.

I have known glimpses of love. I say glimpses because I hold loosely to those moments. Fear still has its grip on me. Everyday I pray for perfect love to drive out all my fear. One day I will know in my heart, and not just my head, that I am worth love. Until then, “he is working on me.

How do you respond to love?

What risks come with love for you?

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David is one of those characters that I can relate to well. He reminds me of me. David is a strong willed guy who can be pretty self-sufficient. On numerous occasions, David took control of his summit hike. It did not bode so well for him, but he learned a ton of character a long the way.

David was the youngest in his family. He was not so admired by his siblings. This part of the story sounds similar to Joseph’s story. David spent his days as a shepherd in the field, as well as a song writer. He was often excluded from family discussions, or anything that was going on with family business.

One day Samuel comes to visit David’s father, Jesse. I picture the scene playing out similar to that of Cinderella. Samuel is looking to anoint someone to be the next king. He asks Jesse for all of his sons to join him in the house. Like the wicked step-mom, Jesse presents his finest sons. Samuel asks if he has any others, Jesse says, “oh yea there’s my youngest David.”

In my mind the next scene goes something like this: David walks into the house, probably singing a song out loud that he made up. He dances his way into the kitchen where everyone is standing. I can picture David popping a date in his mouth from off the counter top while playing his air harp. His voice fades as he realizes that he walked in on something. Samuel presents David with the glass slipper that fits perfectly and anoints him to be the next king.

Wait what!? If I were David, I would be like, “what just happened?” It’s not like he was then ushered off to the palace and given a ring and robe. Nope. David returned to the field for shepherding and song writing. So how does the dream of being king even happen?

Cue David’s road of wonder.

After some time, maybe even when the dream of king had almost been lost, the tides change. David is sent with a picnic for his warrior brothers. It is on the battlefield that David is presented with an opportunity that makes him one step closer to his summit. David takes on a huge obstacle named Goliath and brings victory to the nation. With this win, David is then ushered to the palace where he is given fame and the one of the kings daughters to marry.

This is the first glimpse we get to David’s dream of being king. Before David ever stepped foot in the palace, God did some character work on him in the fields. God cultivated the character trait of faith in a bigger God. God taught David how to not rely on his own strength. This is a big character lesson for self-sufficient people. It was in the “simple” sheep fields that he learned to care about responsibility, protect the innocent, rise above his fear, and grow in intimacy with his God.

After Goliath, it might have seemed like David “arrived.” He was in the palace, and now son-in-law to the king. Break out the champagne! Sound the alarm for the party, King David had made it to the palace!

But was he king?

David might have been in the palace, but he was far from being king. After a triumphant entry into his new life, he then spent his days playing his harp for the king. David went through more time of waiting for his dream. He could see his dream, but he was playing the harp. Maybe God let David know that even though he was in the palace, he was not too good to play his harp and serve the king. God cultivated his character.

David went through a seasons of taking the reigns of his path, but God cultivated his character every step of the way. At the time David was given the throne, he was ready. Just because he was given the dream years before the actual throne did not mean he was ready for the dream.

How do you take control of your path?

How is God cultivating your character?

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