Grief is not a linear process. It has no warning or timeline. It just has a healer.
In my life I have faced many, what only could be described as, Goliath grief. I have known the deep pain of a broken family. I have wrestled with the grief of broken relationships that I thought were for life. I have experienced grief by walking with close friends in their seasons of grief. I have known grief as life has been lost too soon for friends and family. I have known grief.
Grief can be felt for a short period of time or for what makes life seem like a slow eternity. Grief has no time line. It has no starting or end point, and it is very unpredictable in weight of feeling. Grief lingers in a way that seems to leave one exhausted and full of ache.
What do we do with grief? What do we do with that ache that seems impossible to release? What do we do with something that seems to consume without warning?
The grieving process is known to have five stages that are most closely associated with the responses that go with it. Again, no one person feels grief in the same way. You may bounce around within all of these stages in one day, or one moment.
The hope in the grieving process is that you will find more time lapsing between each stage. That is when you know healing is happening.
I have felt times of just feel crazy as I take on the grieving process in my own life. Hoping learning more about each stage will help you feel less crazy as well.
Grief wears many masks. It manifests itself in blatant and subtle ways.
The 5 stages of the Grieving Process:
Denial: This is the stage where the predominant feeling is numbness. This is the stage where we simply just try and get through each day. Denial sets the pace for dealing with our emotions.
Bargaining: This stage takes the form of a temporary truce. Bargaining is where we play the game of “if only’s” and “what if’s.” This stage is where you wish for things to go back to the way the were.
Anger: This stage has two parts in which anger plays out- inward and outward anger.
Pure Grief: This is the stage where sorrow and deep sadness are known.
Resolution: Resolution is coming to the place of acceptance and closure within your grieving process.
Each wound has its own process and its own resolution to get to. Give yourself time and patience in the process.
The only way to get through is to commit to the hard to get to the healing.