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Posts Tagged ‘emotions’

Sometimes the phrase, “Hindsight is 20/20” just ticks me off. I have a love/hate relationship with it.

I appreciate looking back on a season of life and having “aha” moments, but I always wish that I would be able to see those things as they are happening.

We do learn from our mistakes as we look back on them. We gain wisdom from seeing clearly what God might have been up to as we reflect, but I just wonder why it takes looking back some times.

The grieving process is one of those ongoing things in my life where I usually have to look back to make sense of my heart.

Even now, I shake my head at the ways the wounds of grief manifest itself in my responses, fears, insecurities, and doubts.

I wonder.

I wonder why doesn’t God reveal the total effects of pain and hurt in our lives all at once? Why am I still just realizing some of the effects of pain – pain that seems so long ago – playing out in my everyday responses?

I find myself just asking, “God why not just show me? Why not just show me the effects of pain all at once when it happens?

It is in these times of asking that I remember a story in Exodus where God has a similar conversation with Moses. God is explaining to Moses that he is going to lead His people from the desert into the promise land. He talks about all of the foreign tribes and lands they will conquer to take over the promise land.

Just when you are getting all psyched up from the list of successes God is going bring for His people, he adds in a little part that deserves a double take. It’s one of those parts that should be italicized and called “fine print.

God tells Moses, “But I will not drive them out in a single year, because the land would become desolate and the wild animals too numerous for you.  Little by little I will drive them out before you, until you have increased enough to take possession of the land.”

Wait…wha….?

All of those great victories He just spent time talking about in the verses before are not going to happen all at once!?

I am learning that God is a God of process. It is because of His grace that we do not get to feel or even see the effects of everything all at once. It would be too much to handle.

We need His grace of the “little by little” in our lives. I may throw tantrums for understanding things through hindsight, but God cares about my abilities to handle things.

Little by little, God is doing something in us.

Little by little we get to the place of being able to take “possession” of something going on in our hearts and lives.

Little by little is where wisdom and understanding comes in.

Little by little is His grace for us.

What is something going on in your life that you wish God would show you more about what’s happening?

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Words run deep. How we use them, hear them, see them, and process them effect everything.

Words are powerful.

Words express something every time. Words also reflect deeper meanings.

There are several places in the bible that talk about our hearts and words being connected. In both Matt and Luke, Jesus addresses the condition of our hearts by what comes out of it-our words.

What comes out of our mouths reflects the conditions our hearts.

In Luke, Jesus teaches the people that the heart reflects both the good and the bad of what is stored up in it. Jesus stated, “The mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”

My heart is need of some serious inventory check of what is stored up in her. It can be pretty easy to hear what might be going on in someone else’s heart by what they say. however, it is not so easy to hear our own. Our hearts are always saying something. Their hidden meaning is not as hidden as we would like to think.

I am learning that it’s not just our words that reflect our heart’s conditions, but I know my behavior is close to follow those words as well. I act like my heart. It is not always pretty. When my heart is in a bad place, I can see it in my behavior. I call this my “dirty heart” day.

When I am in the midst of a dirt heart day everything seen and heard from me reflects that. I am quick to speak, irrational, jealous, and harsh. I am also more anxious, and more likely to spiral in thought to places of untruth.

Our hearts affect our everything.

Our hearts also affect everyone else around us.

Our hearts are overflowing with emotions, thoughts, beliefs, struggles, and fears. The state our hearts are hard to hide. Our words, expressions, and behavior say it all.

I am not a fan of what mine has been overflowing with lately. I wish my heart was in a better place. I wish my words and behavior were as well.

It’s not just my sleeves that are worn out from all this heart wearing.

The process of confronting our heart’s condition is not comfortable or easy. Sometimes it feels like everything gets worse before better can be recognized. That’s when you know healing is happening.

What is your heart saying?

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