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Posts Tagged ‘healing’

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I can’t believe we are halfway through this year! It seems like time has flown by.

I started out this year out of breath and crawling forward. I was scraping at the bottom of the barrel for joy and hope. I felt like for every step forward one of those huge hammers from Wipe Out would slam me nine steps back. Ouch.

I chose healing as my Oneword365.

Healing takes time.

Healing takes a process of really doing the hard work. I have been learning the truth that I have to choose the hard to get to the healing. Nothing changes if I don’t change up some patterns and habits.

I still don’t feel far enough into the process to say I have had these huge breakthroughs, but I guess that is the point of a midway mile marker. I am definitely not in the same low place I was in six months ago. I also have a little more hope and courage.

Healing is the process of renewing strength.

Fighting takes an insane amount of energy – both emotionally and physically. Fighters train for months to be able to last one match. I am gaining strength to fight through my fears and retrain the lies I’ve been living on. Strength has been a huge victory. Without it, I was running on empty and had no stand left to fight for myself. This just created a cycle of unhealthy living.

Slowly but surely I am rediscovering the puzzle pieces of my heart. He is making all things new in me. Although I still feel like the wind gets knocked of me, but instead of being thrown 9 steps back it’s only 5. Hoping six months from now those steps will continue to decrease.

The process of healing is the process of relearning.

When I broke my collar bone it took me so long to regain normal movement and rotation. Everything hurt and needed compensation. After a while I regained strength and relearned how to use my shoulder. Similarly, I am learning how to see myself, set healthy boundaries, and fight for my own voice and dreams. This process has opened up new words I want to speak, and new visions for my life.

Imagine that…

Hoping for more healing these next six months.

How is your halfway point going?

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One of my favorite phrases in the scripture is, John 16:7 “I tell you the truth.” Even just saying it now makes me exhale. “I tell you the truth.” How freeing is that phrase?
 
The phrase seems kind of weird to use when responding to a question or even an accusation. However, Jesus would begin the majority of his responses with, “I tell you the truth.” I mean just in case there was any question about His integrity or the reliability of His words. Ha!
Jesus is about truth. He is truth.
 
You have to admit that He said some illogical things. He told stories that seemed too wise for His own educational stature. Jesus performed miracles on the body and heart all the time. He healed the sick, multiplied food to eat, raised the dead, made the blind person see in eyes and heart, and He redefined life as people knew it to be.
 
Jesus was about the “hard to believe.” His life looked and sounded like the “you’ve got to be kidding me.
 
Read more here! 
posting over at Church 4 Chicks and would love your thoughts!

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Pain just freaking hurts. There is no confusion there. There is no mistaking pain for something else. It hurts inside and out.

Pain invokes a physical and an emotional response. There is no hiding when something hurts. I know I wear pain all over my face. I wear my heart on my sleeve.

Not only do we respond to pain, but our bodies immediately begin to overcompensate for the injured area.

When your ankle or knee is hurt, the other leg and hip carry the weight. The body shifts into a mode of recovery when any bone is broken. That can also wear on you as well.

I remember when I broke my collar bone. My whole body hurt. All of my 2,000 parts overcompensated for months to pick up the slack for my injury. After months of adjusting, my shoulder healed but other parts of my body needed a break.

Healing takes time and adjustments. This is true for our emotions as well.

When our heart is broken, or emotions bruised, we begin to adjust to compensate for the pain. A broken heart takes as much time to heal as a broken bone does. However, when a broken bone heals, we need to relearn how to use those parts again. We cannot continue going through life just not using our legs or arms.

Emotions are similar.

The tricky thing about emotional pain is that we often stay in compensation mode. Once we make the adjustments to allow for healing, we often stay in those places – living off of those survival skills, and it becomes a way of life. This is not meant to be.

Emotions need healing, and once they do heal it is time to reintegrate them back into use. It is no small process. It often feels like things are getting worse before they seem to feel better. Don’t give up. It is in those heart sore times that you know healing is happening.

Healing hurts. It takes risk to choose the hard and patience to get better. Broken bones are sore when going through the process of being used again. Healing feels vulnerable and uncomfortable. There is nothing easy about it. It is worth it.

Don’t give up!

Are you afraid to heal?

In what ways are you healing these days?

(My oneword365)

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Every New Year I feel very ready to kick the previous year to the curb. I am ready for all things new come January. New Year’s always gives me the hope of just that…NEW.

For the past two years, I have joined in the growing community of choosing a OneWord for the year. To be honest, each year my word has made me its _______. Still trying to live a life of FOLLOWING in 2011, and continuing to work on my jealousy through CELEBRATING others in 2012.

This year….this year I need new. This past year shattered me on so many levels. Sitting here at the table and looking at the proverbial puzzles pieces of my heart, I wonder where to start.

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Have you ever had those seasons in your life where you feel like more than the wind has been knocked out of you?

There is hard and then there is feeling defeated with no fight left. I am exhausted from pain, brokenness, discouragement, conflict, transitions, rejections, and deferred hope. I need a break.

Every war has times when the fighting ceases for sleep and rest. Every boxing match has rounds when each fighter gets a breather to regroup.I am that fighter in the corner needing a breather. I am that wounded soldier needing rest from the front lines of life.

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SO my ONEWORD for 2013 is HEALING.

To be honest, slowing down and healing is not easy for me. Whenever I broke a bone or sprained an ankle I was bad at heeding to the instructions for healing. There is a reason doctors say it takes six weeks for broken bones to heal. I always that it was just a suggestion. I should have committed to waiting.

The patchwork and Band-Aide management of my life has become unstitched. It is time to let the Healer do His thing.

This year, I am focusing on the healing stories in the gospels. I want to learn about the what, who, why, and how of Jesus’ healing miracles. Hoping He heals me there.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

A bruised reed He will not break, and a smoldering wick He will not snuff out.”

These are some promises I am holding onto this year as I put back the pieces of my weary self. My hope for this year is that of a renewed hope, trust, peace, and forward motion through grief. 

What is YOUR OneWord of 2013?

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The sound of shattering glass makes me immediately respond with a cringe.

Anytime I hear the sound of glass shattering – even a vase or cup dropping – my shoulders go up and my face cringes.

You know you have that “oooh” response when you hear a waiter drop a tray of glasses.

Shattered glass has a distinct sound. Shattering makes the sound of spilled pieces.

What about when it happens to your heart?

The sound of a shattered heart looks silent, but it makes the sound of spilled tears and sobs. Yet, I still make the same cringing face when the heart shatters.

I have the honor of being a contributing author for a book being published in September. I never thought I would be published or be an author of really anything. I am beyond grateful for this opportunity.

I spent months crafting the pages of my heart’s story in Word form. This has been no small thing for me to tackle. Writing this chapter has forced me to look back over the shattered pieces of my heart. I cringed daily as I tried to put words to my shattered pieces.

The grief of my shattered pieces still ache today. Nothing like writing it all down to reopen some wounds…

My heart has endured some shattering through the messiness of a broken home, broken trust, broken relationships, broken survival skills, broken dreams, and just a broken me.

I sat for a long time starring at the pieces of me. The sound of my shattered heart can still be heard through spilt tears. I have no idea where those pieces go. I have no idea how to heal in some areas. However, I am grateful that He knows how all my pieces fit back together.

There are also new pieces I have discovered and still working on putting words to. My tender heart still cringes at the sound of risks that end in shattered pieces.

No piece is missing. No piece is extra. Every piece matters.

The process has been so bittersweet for me. However, it is always worth picking up the pieces. Piece by piece, I am healing towards a whole heart.

NO piece is missing. Every piece matters. Risk to place your pieces in the hands of the one who mends us back to together.

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One step….

One step is all we get.

One step is all we can really handle.

I am a visionary by nature. I see the big picture and get so frustrated with the steps to get there. To a visionary, every step is the one that should be right before the big picture. It usually is far from it.

I need steps.

Steps take courage. Steps take risk to not only just step into, but to believe and trust that the step is okay – that it’s necessary.

Steps require obedience and courage to know I’m not finished. Steps let me know that who I am right now cannot handle the right weight of what is to come. Steps get me there. Steps ready me for the value of the weight.

I have been stuck in Joshua the past couple of days. Joshua is a man of surrendered steps. Joshua was Moses’ successor to lead the Israelites into the Promise Land. He has some big steps to fill.

I have just shaken my head and smiled at how awesome God is to only give Joshua what he can handle. God only gave Joshua each step. Joshua had the choice to obey – he had a choice to surrender and trust, and he did! Without knowing the how or what of anything, Joshua stepped up.

The first several chapters of Joshua are laced with steps. In chapter one, God told Joshua that he must obey and follow after me before any next step can happen. Joshua agreed. God then told Joshua to order the officers to tell the people that they were to pack up and get ready to leave in three days. He had no other information than that. He just said okay.

God then gave instruction on how to advance and the exact order that needed to play out. No other explanation. Joshua obeyed.

In chapter two, Joshua sent spies into Jericho to scope it out. He waited days to hear the report. Joshua did not move until they returned.

Chapter three, Joshua is given one step at a time to cross the Jordan. Everyone was to wait three days and followed the instructions to only go when they saw the Ark of the Covenant pass by. Not before then. Why not? Joshua did not ask.

Chapter four, all pass through the Jordan on dry land unharmed. Twelve Israelites representing the twelve tribes obeyed Joshua as he commanded them to gather twelve stones as a reminder of what God had done for them.

No one moved without the command of Joshua. Joshua did not move without the command of the Lord.

One step at a time. No more. No less. That was the necessary enough.

One step takes courage and risk. One step takes surrender and obedience. One step at a time crosses Jordan’s and conquers nations.

I am learning to surrender to my steps.

What one step are you taking today?

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We all carry around our heart’s pieces. Some like to think they have it all together, but the reality is that we are all broken in some way.

Our hearts have been touched, wounded, influenced, affected, and tugged on by other people. We are fallen people. Our relational experiences influence, and can even dictate, our interactions and responses to others.

We all see through certain lenses to life. Each person’s lens display shades of past handlers.

We all encounter heart’s that we did not break, but they are broken nonetheless.

I know mine is. I know people come up against my broken places. I know I respond out of those places from past wounds and fears. My lenses dictate my responses.

I ask forgiveness a lot from friends who I hurt on account of responding from places they did not break. Some friends are not responsible for my trust issues, but they feel the effects. Some friends I snap at, and for some my porcupine spikes come out.

Some conflicts warrant those responses, but usually it’s because of my own past broken places.

I hate that.

I hate the hurt I cause due to my own hurt places. I hate the broken places others feel. I hate that people have broken hearts and know the effects of pain. I hate the way I get on people that does not speak of love and gratitude.

I am fallen. You are fallen. We get on each other. We pass down our broken places in relationships.

Today, when you come up against the broken hearts of others you did not break, be gentle. Be understanding. Be grace filled. Listen. Be part of their healing. Respond differently.

Love covers over a multitude of brokenness.

From this broken heart, let me be the first to say thank you for choosing to respond differently.

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