Posts Tagged ‘healthy relationships’


Love is one of those words that requires a lot, if not everything from the one giving it. Love is hoped for, depended on, risked and longed for. Love is so strong. There are so many songs and movies that try and capture the essence of love’s power. There will never be enough to say about love. There will never be enough time to capture its essence either.

Love is also conscious. Love requires everything we’ve got.

A couple of years ago, my counselor taught me a principle that has stuck with me. We were talking about commandments in the bible. He told me that we are given commandments because there are things that do not come natural to us. For example, we are not given the commandment to breathe because our body just does that naturally. We do not have to constantly tell our eyes to blink. They just do.

Love is a commandment given by God. Love is something that does not come natural to us.

I wish it did, but it doesn’t. This truth brings a whole new light to the famous verses in Corinthians about love. Love has a list because it’s not natural to do.

Love is a choice.

I am sadly realizing how many people do not choose love any more. There is a lie in our culture that says you don’t have to stay in the hard. You can love whenever and however it suits your needs. Our culture is moving away from the heart of the one who created love. We are moving away from the one who created us to know and share in love. Sadly, our world is running on the fiction of love.

We have reduced love to a fairytale feeling, and the pursuit of happy, not faithful.

The reality of love is that it’s hard work. It does take conscious effort. There are times where love seems to be overflowing and very easy, but for the most part it takes effort. This is where the commandment comes in. God knew that the hard is where our human side comes into play, and that we would need a commandment to keep at it.

Love is no matter what.

Love is all the time and no matter what. Love is committed and faithful no matter what. Love is selfless and sacrificial. Those two words alone require everything I’ve got. Lord knows I am not good at choosing either one.

Love is no matter what because God has proven to love me that way. God has shown me that love is all the time, committed, and faithful. He laid down his life to show me that love is selfless and sacrificial. I can’t believe that love like this applies to me.

What are the challenges of this commandment for you?


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Boundaries are essential lines of life. They are also so hard to keep nailed down. Sometimes I feel like my boundaries are sturdy and clear. Other times I can’t remember where the boundary lines were. To be honest, most people don’t like boundaries unless they are in control of them.

We learn about boundaries throughout our time of growing up. If you have siblings, boundary lines were a regular conversation. There is always one sibling who likes to push the boundary lines of the other. Even on road trips, my parents would try to draw out imaginary boundary lines for my brother and I. Of course those lines wouldn’t hold and an inevitable tattling would ensue.

Growing up, my parents would try and enforce boundaries to signify what things where permissable as well as what things were not. I always pushed my boundary lines.

Our lives need boundaries in every area. Boundaries are crucial for healthy relationships, great parenting, work schedules, social schedules, handling responsibility, time management, and making moral decisions.

I have different kinds of boundaries. It can be hard for me to distinguish between the healthy boundaries and the unhealthy boundaries that I have set up out of defense.  I am very aware that some need work.

I have been stuck on the simple illustration, as well as reasoning, for boundaries that God spells out in Psalm 104.

5 He set the earth on its foundations;
it can never be moved.
6 You covered it with the watery depths as with a garment;
the waters stood above the mountains.
7 But at your rebuke the waters fled,
at the sound of your thunder they took to flight;
8 they flowed over the mountains,
they went down into the valleys,
to the place you assigned for them.
9 You set a boundary they cannot cross;
never again will they cover the earth.

God created boundaries for the foundation of the earth. Each boundary line that God speaks in to place stood for a purpose that enabled fruit. Water flowed within the boundaries to provide for all animals and people. The moon and the sun have their place and times; each one is set for his purposes.

If the foundations of the earth are crucial for making the world run well, how much more do I need boundaries for me? I need the boundaries that enable fruit in my life. I need boundaries that keep me mindful of his truth and ways.

My prayer is that God would set boundaries in me that I would hold in place. I know I need them. I may challenge them or be challenged holding them, but I need them. We all do.

What are you some of your boundaries?

What are your thoughts on boundaries?


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