Posts Tagged ‘integrity’

Lately I feel like I have been asking myself a lot of questions. They are not all the same type of questions, but just questions.

Call it season of life. Call it wondering about the unknown. Call it curiosity about how I wired. What ever “it” is, I still have questions.

Some of my questions (no structure to them either):

– What will my next season of life be?

– Is this season life over or beginning?

– Why do I get so ticked about certain things, while other equally frustrating things roll right off?

– What do the real weapons of God look like? And why don’t I use them more? (love, respect, trust, patience, self-control, grace, forgiveness…)

– Does my character look like God?

– In my sensitivity, what makes me spiral downward and why?

– Why do I have specific triggers in me?

– How do I steward my influence? I am I responsible with that influence?

– What would I do if I saw a person crying on the side of the road?

– What does helping look like for me?

– Why do I keep trying sweets when I really don’t like them, and feel sick every time?

– How do I process thoughts from vacation well?

– Am I really honest?

What kind of questions have you been asking yourself?


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When I think about what healthy relationships look like, I always think about David and Jonathan. These two guys are often in the spotlight for how well they loved each other, as well as, how they modeled friendship. When I read about their friendship, I see some serious fruit. Relationships have weeds that can threaten its growth, but it also has great fruit.

One characteristic about their friendship that I am constantly drawn to is their selflessness in regards to one another. Let me give a little back story on how they cultivated this friendship. At the time when David and Jonathan began their Bro-mance, Jonathan’s father, Saul was residing as king. David had been anointed by Samuel to be the next king due to Saul’s disobedience to the Lord. Naturally, Jonathan should have been in line for the throne. It was no secret to Jonathan that David was the one to take the throne.

Jonathan did not fight for the throne. He never tried to force himself on the throne or over turn what God had set in place. Jonathan loved and supported David as the one who would be taking over his birth right.
I don’t know about you, but my natural response would not have been love and respect. I would have gone down swinging. Dang weed!

Even if Jonathan felt jealous or envious of the throne, he did not respond that way. He celebrated his friend and brother. When David was moving more and more into the lime light as a great leader and warrior, Jonathan never responded in bitterness. He loved his friend and celebrated his victories. He also celebrated David as people praised him and cheered for his growing fame. I wonder if Jonathan wanted a taste of that lime light?

At the time when David and Saul’s relationship grew more volatile, Jonathan stuck by his friend. Jonathan was a man of integrity. David trusted him with his life and the intimacy of his friendship. They modeled an honest relationship that I’m sure came with much forgiveness.

A great relationship allows/enables each person to be their total self. A healthy relationship allows the other person to rest in acceptance and unconditional love. Good relationships allows for grace and forgiveness. As a result of grace and forgiveness, a sense of safety takes root. This is when the sound of exhale starts to be heard within the relationships.

So how did David and Jonathan have a healthy friendship?

In my speculation, I think they both understood God’s love and forgiveness for themselves. David had such an intimate relationship with God. I know that had to have made a difference in their friendship. The characteristics of their great friendship are the characteristics that make up the character of God. God is loving, forgiving, grace filled, and patient. He is slow to anger and abounding in love. God is the God of integrity. He is trustworthy. He celebrates his children and never settles for anything less than the best.

I have to believe that our understanding of who God is can set the tone of our weed filled or fruit filled relationships. How we know who God is directly affects our relationships. All good things come from above.

This is my desire for all my relationships.

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