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Posts Tagged ‘lies’

Life has a way of shaking up what we think is secure. Like an earthquake, the ground shakes and aspects of our lives we thought were stable become insecure.

We can all pin point times, or seasons, in our lives that have shaken us into new fears and doubts. We all have scars that leave the stamp of feeling out of control, and wounded.

Insecurities give voice to the places in our lives that feel helpless, hopeless, and broken.

For me, insecurities tell the story of intimacy that has been broken, and where self-preservation resides. Insecurities are my red flags that let me know that there is distance between me and the Lord. My insecurities help me track the cravings of my soul.

Insecurities are telling of where the weight of wounding words has taken root in our hearts. It is when we start to listen to the voice of lies that our security is challenged. Places that were once smooth with security and confidence become jaded and jagged with doubt.

Skepticism and worse case scenarios become our preoccupation through the eyes of insecurity. 

Within all the muck and mire of insecurity, it is also a gift. We are all created for a relationship that is both perfect and untainted. We can taste this type of relationship through intimacy with God. My insecurities have always been a great litmus test as to where I have distanced myself from his security.

My insecurities give light to the smallest places where I have removed my eyes from his steadfast love and intimacy.

Insecurities prey on the unchangeable in me and make them seem replaceable. Most often my identity in Christ is challenge when I feel insecure. I begin to substitute what God has said about me and replaced them with lies. My insecurities are the labels of those lies.

I am learning to navigate through my insecurities as a road map that leads my heart back to his arms. Insecurities never feel good, but they are a gift. They rise up to let us know that a void has been created between us and God, and that intimacy is needed.

Our identity in Christ never changes, it can only be challenged.

What are your insecurities telling you?

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Sometimes it’s just good to evaluate where your words with weight reside.

What words in your life carry the most weight?

Have you placed more weight on words of lies or truth in your life?

Who’s words carry the most weight in your life?

Are you considering the weight your words carry?

Words with weight make all the difference.

We are influenced by words all of the time. We influence in ways that should hold great value in our lives with words.

Time for a weight check!

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My mom taught me never to talk to strangers growing up. Preschool and DARE reinforced that rule through my early years.

I needed this rule and boundary in my life. I am a huge extrovert. I talked to strangers all the time. I would even talk to mannequins in the department stores. (Alright that was more for the embarrassment of my mom.) Often times my mom would be looking for me, because I would have wandered off somewhere shooting the breeze with someone. I am a talker, plus I love people. This rule was for me!

I thought I was safe, when I might not have been. I thought all people were good not thinking they might have had other motives. That could have been bad news for me.

Jesus knows we need protection. We believe people when they are speaking lies. Jesus knows our tendencies to be lead astray.  In our search for life, he sees all the messages that bombard our minds. There are so many messages we filter through every day. More than half of those messages threaten his truth.

Jesus is the truth. He is the safest places we can be. His words are the words that keep us on the path to knowing eternal life. He is the only one who can lead us there.

The extrovert in me desperately needs the shepherd in him.

I need the truth that he is the gate, and the one leading me into life. There are so many threats and distractions from truth and life. Jesus knows that. All the more reason why we need to know his voice.w

We need to know his voice as the dominate voice to listen to if we want to recognize threats. We have red flags in life to help yell out “stranger!!

There are lots of things, and people, who would like to help define our identities. There are lots of messages that will tell you who and what to value. There are even people who would like for you to believe that they are the way to life. There is only one who is truth. It takes pursuing intimacy with him to really know what messages to discard.

It has taken me a long time to attune my ears to the shepherd. I am still learning to divert my eyes and ears back to him. I am so thankful to know truth.

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One of my favorite phrases in the scripture is, “I tell you the truth.” Even just saying it now makes me exhale. “I tell you the truth.” How freeing is that phrase?

It kind of sounds like a weird phrase to use when responding to a question or even accusation. Jesus would begin the majority of his responses with, “I tell you the truth.” I mean just in case there was any question about his integrity or the reliability of what he was about to say?

Jesus is about truth. He is truth. You have to admit that he said some illogical things. He told stories that seemed too wise for his own educational stature. Jesus performed miracles on the body and heart all the time. He healed the sick, multipied food to eat, raised the dead, made the blind person see in eyes and heart, and he redefined life as people knew it to be.

Jesus was about the “hard to believe.” His life looked and sounded like the “you’ve got to be kidding me.”

I tell you the truth” is such a comforting phrase for me. I see all the things that Jesus did in the bible and it leaves my mouth on the floor. I see what he still does in my life, as well as other people’s lives around me and my mouth is still on the floor. That is truth.

I have spent a lot of my life believing in what I thought was truth. I believed that growing up with a learning disablilty disqualified me from even writing this blog. I believed that because my father left our family that I was worth leaving. Out of that, I have believed that even the best people can not be trusted. Through raising myself in a lot of ways, I have learned to believe that life is up to me and self-sufficiency is the only way for life to work

I have been told “truth” and I have told myself “truth.” The truth is that I really didn’t know truth at all. So to even hear the words, “I tell you the truth” over and over again is so refreshing to my soul. God never makes me guess. Even though his truth looks so unbelievable and so illogical, it doesn’t make his truth any less truth.

Now, I exhale in hearing him say, “Tracee, I tell you the truth. You are my beloved and my daughter. You are wired just the way I made you. You are worth dying for and keeping close. Life is known in following and trusting after me.”

Truth takes faith and trust. Jesus has proved his truth to me. I’m not at all saying I really get his truth for me, but I am learning to hear it over what I have settled for as truth.

What is the truth you know?

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In school we were taught by the bell curve, right? People fell somewhere in the curve. Depending on where I was, I would judge others who were above and well, there wasn’t really a below me. I always appreciated those who brought the curve up for me.

I see this mentality in myself, as well as others, when it comes to our weaknesses. We have created this bar of greater and lesser weaknesses. We are usually the bar. Similarly to the bell curve in school, we figure out where others weaknesses fall in comparison to our own. There are different weight levels associated with different weaknesses. Again, we place ourselves as the bar in which others either fall above or below where we sit.

Jesus came two thousand years ago and redefined the bell curve. Jesus came preaching the words, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

As a counselor, and friend, I have been in countless conversations where someone has acknowledged their weaknesses. Each time I can literally see bondage melts away. Spoken weakness is a powerful thing. There is such freedom and exhale that comes from saying our weaknesses out loud.

There is a lot of fear that comes from revealing our hidden tracks. There is a long time lie that states that there is someone perfect out there who has no weakness. The bell cure keeps us believing that weakness is varied by levels. However, the truth is that everyone has an alternative for Christ. Everyone has experienced life on a hidden track.

The truth is that Jesus sees all sin the same. To Jesus, sin is what separates us from him. That is what he cares about. Weaknesses are similar. Weaknesses, if not talked about, keep us on the hidden track. That is what God cares about. He sees separation.

Separation is what I want to care about as well. Not the weight of the weakness, but the heart that is struggling to surrender control to him.

The lies that keep us attached to our weakness may sound like this:

  • No one will like you.
  • You will be rejected if you talk about your weakness.
  • You will be made fun of and thought less of as a result of your weakness.
  • Nothing good will come from talking about your weakness.
  • You are the only person who has experience in your weakness.
  • You are alone.

Spoken weakness dispels bondage. Weakness that is surrendered brings connection and community. “Power is made perfect in weakness.” Weakness is acknowledged dependence on God. The fruit of acknowledge weakness is obedience.

I have seen so many deep and authentic communities display God’s power and glory from acknowledged weaknesses. It is hard and definitely not fun, but it’s worth it. Some of my best friendships are from shared weaknesses.

God is waiting to make perfect power with you. Will you risk your weakness?

How?

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When I was in high school, I would always be the one people would call at any hour of the night. I was “cool” because I had a pager. A what? Mmhmm, a pager. I had a close friend who did not live in the best of home environments. My friend would often page me in the middle of the night and I would drive over to her house and pick her up.

I will never forget this one night I received a page from her. Out of routine I hopped in the car and headed over. I parked in my normal spot and started up the walk way. I could hear yelling of profanity and cries from her younger siblings. It was a nice night, so all the windows were open. As I walked up to the door I stopped to gauge the situation at the window. In the living room was my friend, her younger brother, and father. My friend’s father was threatening to strike her younger brother. It was an intimdating scene to say the least. I didn’t know whether or not to knock or stay where I was.

Words grew in great volume as the tension rose. Just as I thought I was about to witness my first domestic violence, my friend stood in the gap between her younger brother and father. With words so calm, she said, “dad if you are going to hit anyone, you need to hit me.” There was no rage or anger in her voice, just waiting. My friend stood her ground as her father tried to manuver around to get at her younger brother.

Finally her father realized my friend was serious and not going to move. My friend stood in the gap to save her brother. I was silenced. In that moment I walked in the door and stood with my friend. Her dad stormed out and we gathered her things and left. That was one powerful stand.

I need that same protecting. The lies I believe in are abusive to me. I am bruised and wounded by the weight of my fears. I allow myself to be identified with being worthless and unlovable. In the midst of that, Jesus comes and stands in the gap. He gently says, “these lies and wounds belong to me.”  They still try and manuver around to inflict pain on me, but he stands firm and protects me.

This brings me hope as I take on the crater field of my heart. I hope you feel him standing in your gap to protect you.

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Love is a word that seems to be so easily dismissed in my brain. Love is one of those convoluted words that seem to carry so many different levels of meaning. I hear love being tossed out all the time. We use it to describe things we like. We use love at the end of conversations and family gatherings. We also use love as a description word that translates into deep meaning.

Love runs deep in me

I would describe myself as someone who loves deeply. I value the word love very much. I do not toss that word out flippantly. I want to be a person who loves deeply. I want to show love to others in a way that they never knew was possible. Honestly, I love loving.

However, there resides a dark place in me that can’t seem to grasp reciprocated love. I dismiss love so quickly that it just ricochets off my guarded heart. As I find great joy in loving others, I see myself as unlovable. Some reasons becuase that has been the message told to me, and some my own self perception from life. When someone tells me that they love me the words seem to echo without a place to land inside of me.

Dismissing love serves two purposes in my life.

The first comes from the core of knowing pain and wounds that run deep in me. I have experienced grief from loss of relationships I valued greatly. In my efforts to guard against pain, feeling loved has little room to take root. To allow love to take root in me would mean risking vulnerability and loss of control. Some where along this road of grief I traded in my heart, desperate to know love, for safety.

The second purpose is an extension of the first. Experiencing deep loss, and relational wounds, has rocked my self-perception. In the midst of that pain, I believe in the lie that says, “I am not enough” and “I am not worth loving.” My skewed self-perception told me that I was damaged at best. Those lies have dictated many courses in my journey.

In the past couple of years, I have learned that the only way to dispel a lie is with truth. Truth has a louder voice than the lie. Truth is sustaining where as lies require me to anchor them. There is only one who has claimed to be “the way, the truth, and the life.

Truth tells me that I am loved. Truth states that we know love “because he first loved us.” Love laid down his whole life so that the vail of my own self-perception would be torn in two.

I am still in a place of wrestling through doubt that the word love applies to me. I still experience pain where that message seems true. I have known glimpses of love. I say glimpses because I hold loosely to those moments. Fear still has its grip on me. Everyday I pray for perfect love to drive out all my fear. One day I will know in my heart, and not just my head, that I am worth love. Until then, “he is working on me.

How do you respond to love?

What risks come with love for you?

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