Sometimes I wish I could walk around with a microphone that picked up the thoughts of the heart.
Like those interesting individuals who walk around listening for treasures in the sand on a beach, I wish I could listen to the heart.
What I have learned through listening is that everyone verbalizes their particular thoughts for a reason. Everyone chooses to tell their stories for a purpose.
If you listen closely, you can pick up the heart beat of another’s thoughts. We all have patterns of thinking that are spoken through words, stories, and conversations.
Whether we are conscious or not we all speak on purpose.
You can learn a lot about the heart of another just by listening with intention.
Scripture states that, “from the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” This is just good and simple truth. What is being spoken is the verbal reflection of the heart.
What we say matters.
I ask myself questions and look for things when people are talking.
So how do you listen between the lines?
What is intentional listening?
Why does this matter to the person?
When someone is telling me a story, or verbalizing their thoughts, I listen for what is of value to this person – Why does what they are saying matter to them? You can learn a lot about motivation and value by asking why.
Is there a pattern to what type of content is being discussed?
We are creatures of habit. Our thought process has a rhythm to it. We think and process in patterns and sequences. There are usually themes you can pick up on when listening to people talk. This could be in the way they tell stories or processing third party conversations.
What is the passion?
We all have unique passions and strong beliefs. Our passions often times frame the way we talk about subjects. Passions drive some of the themes for conversations. This also goes with listening to what matters to the person. I love watching people step up on their soap boxes.
What is the fear?
This one is a personal point of listening for me. I often listen for the fears not being spoken, but manifesting themselves through what is being said. Pride and defenses are usually revealing a deeper fear rather than a character flaw. We all have certain places that are protected by walls and guards. We all have ways of deflecting attention from our fears. Those fears matter to me. I listen for the deep heart.
Always watch for the nonverbal. We speak loudly through saying nothing at all.
Try it out. Take some time and listen with intention to the what and why of another’s heart. Hopefully you will learn a lot about them.
How do you listen with intention?