Posts Tagged ‘waiting’

We are all stories being written. Each chapter crafted with new and old characters. Each story has plots of life being worked through.

Our stories also have eb’s and flows, twists and turns.

What do you do when you’ve got the title page picked out, the table of contents seems to be flowing well, but you want to change the whole story?

I am in that season of change. I feel like I have followed a certain path for so long. I went to college, and got my Masters in Counseling. For the past ten years I have been working in the counseling field. It seems like it “should’ve” been the right track for me – the most logical.

What do you do when you want to start over?

It is such a hard decision to make. But I have made it. A year ago I moved down to Nashville to pursue new: new chapters with friends, community, church, and job.

It has been nothing but the hardest year of my life – on every front. Struggle seems like an understatement.

Starting over is so hard. It literally is a battle. For me, it has been the hardest risk to choose. Nothing makes sense and nothing has worked yet.

If I’m being most honest, doubt plagues me. This year has rocked my fears, insecurities, and self-worth. I still battle with feeling unseen and overlooked. I am trying so hard to celebrate the victories and successes of others. Even as I type that my eyes fill with tears.

Starting over takes time. I knew that going into my year of change. Transition is hard. It means everything takes effort and trying. I am exhausted from all the trying.

Ever feel that way?

People tell me all the time that “our purpose is to glorify Him.” I am trying hard to do that. I feel like I have taken the steps in that direction – to start in a place where my gifts and passions come together. However, the waiting is killer. Daily humility is my soup de jour. I feel like Joseph in prison waiting for someone to “remember me.

It is hard to feel far from myself. Exhaustion takes its toll. I cannot wait to be on the other side of some day.

What do you do when you desire so much to be further down the road of life then you are?

Have you ever started over?

How are you handling your season of waiting right now?

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Have you ever experienced a time where you found yourself in a waiting season?

I will admit to being a person who struggles when it comes to waiting.

Our fast paced culture does not enable waiting well. People who are waiting constantly look at their watches and are most likely agitated.

Waiting can be accompanied by fear as well. Waiting can stir up the fear that someone has forgotten us. Fears that arise when in a waiting season can challenge our sense of value.

How do you wait well?

How do you wait well when the season of waiting seems long?

Now waiting for the bus is way different then waiting on a dream or direction. Waiting can cause us to question and doubt. Waiting requires faith and trust. Those two words are very challenging.

Andy Stanley did a great series that tackled the question of, “what do you do when you feel like God is inattentive, uncooperative, and late?

All three of those words come to mind when experiencing a waiting season. I battle with those words a lot, and sometimes on a daily basis, in this waiting period. It is hard not to play the comparison game and even be jealous when it comes to waiting.

Waiting seasons challenge my faith and trust. Waiting is lonely.

Andy talked about a key verse that speaks directly into the heart of waiting. Jesus said, “Blessed is anyone who does not stumble on account of me.

Such a powerful verse! This verse speaks to waiting. Waiting comes with the expectation that God should do something—that he should do something for me. Honestly, I have expected God to do something and act in my waiting. I used the words that God knows my situation; he is able to change it.

Ever felt like God is silent when you don’t think he should be? Ever felt like he must not care if he is not doing something?

We can start to equate our situations with how God feels about us.

Blessed are those who do not stumble when we feel like God is inattentive, uncooperative, and late. Blessed are those who choose faith even though the waiting continues. Blessed are those who choose to hope when hoping seems in vain. Blessed are those who still know God is able regardless of the waiting time.

I am holding on to the truth of Andy words that, “our situations do NOT reflect the way God feels about us.

I am working on waiting well. For me, that means not letting it affect the perception of my value and self-worth.

What does waiting well look like for you?




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Everybody carries around the weight of something. There is always one thing that weighs down our hearts. It’s that thing that seems to sit on your chest, and all the roads of your thought life lead back to this place.

It could be something stressful or anxiety producing. It could be something you need to say to somone, or even speaking up for yourself.

Are you carrying the weight of grief? Is there brokenness you are waiting for signs of life to spring out of?

This could also be a dream of some sort that you wish you were living in.

Do you have life questions, or wonderings from God?

Everybody has a one thing.

Where does your weightiness lie right now?



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God is the God of yesturday, today, and forever.

That is a powerful statement. God is my God of my past, present, and future. He has me covered. HE knows me before I do. He has me in the present chaos of me, and he know the unsettlement of the question marks of me. That is a silencing understanding for me.

God is the God of yesterday. He knows the place I  need healing. He sees my list of record of wrongs. He sees the patters of unhealthy relating I am developing because of hurts of the past. There is something reassuring about knowing God understands my past. He sees my wrong doings and sees me. God believes in me. He believes in the better me. He heals me.

My yesterday is in his hands. My harms and hurts are in his hands. I know I would continue to mess up if God did not have my yesturday. I can look back on things and see him. I can look back on my hindsight and see where he has saved me and provided for me. That should pave the way for my today, but it doesn’t always work out that way.

God has my Today. I still try and take control of my today. I try and race through my restless and skip to the next. God has something for me in the now. I miss it more often then not. I hate that. I am focused on my tomorrow. God has much to do with me now. I have prayed for things that I know he is doing now and I know I miss it because I am not focused on today. My character needs him to be the God of today. My hope, and eyes, need a God of today. There are so many ways to see him today. God has conversations for us to experience today. He wants us to see him in the important things of today. He has things for us today. I know I miss it.

God is the God of tomorrow. God has my heart for tomorrow. He has by dreams and heart in his minds eye. I wrestle with believing him for tomorrow. I don’t know tomorrow. So does that mean he doesn’t? That is my narrow mindedness. God is the God of all. He has my whole being in his mind and hand. He wired me for life. I want what he wants for me.

To be honest, I know I have made choices to prolong this next for me. I have lost sight of him and believed that tomorrow is up to me. He is patient and loves me just the same. When I catch the memo, he is waiting for me where we left off.

My tomorrow is his tomorrow. He is the God of tomorrow.

God has your yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

How do you see and interact with a God who has all three?

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My heart is in need of some quiet and stillness. I am in need of some simple.

Now, I’m not necessarily talking about finding the less complex and wading around in the shallow end for a while. I love thinking. I love marinating on simple, yet profound ideas and words. I am a words girl. I am not talking about stillness in thought or even heart. I really enjoy thinking deeply, praying deeply, loving deeply, and being real in a deep way.

What I desire is stillness from the noise of life. Too many options to think in a million different ways. Too many messages bombarding our face like hungry reporters.

In these times, I can’t seem to get enough scripture. The bible captivates my attention as one or two words can pack a huge punch. I have tried lots of ways of finding life apart from him, but there is no denying how right truth from his word feels to me.

Every time I spend time reading just the bible it changes me; no books, no blogs, and very little phone useage. Just a good ol’ pen, journal, and truth. It makes a difference in me.

I spent time this weekend specifically praying words of scripture out loud. Not a norm for me. I spent time being specific in conversation with him. Again, not a norm for me. It did something in me.

Spoken truth physiologically changes a person inside and out.There is something very real about speaking God’s words out loud even just over yourself. Power is released.

Here are some of my verses from this week. I have found so much sustaining in these verses the past couple of days.

Psalm 26:3 For your love is ever before me, and I walk continually in your truth

Psalm 27:8 –My heart says to you, “seek his face!” Your face, O Lord, I will seek.

Psalm 29:4-5 – The voice of the Lord is powerful. The voice of the Lord is majestic. The voice of the Lord breaks the cedars.

Psalm 30:7 – O Lord, when you favored me, you made my mountains stand firm; but when you hid your face, I was dismayed.

Psalm 31:14-15 – But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, “you are my God. My times are in your hands.”

Simple. Deep. Powerful. Refreshing. Honey to my soul.

Try it.

What truth has captivated your heart lately?

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Today I have the privilege of guest posting over at my friend Patricia’s blog! Patricia and I have connected through twitter and blogging. I have loved getting to know her heart. She is a follower of Christ in a very real and authentic way. She has an incredible story and love for life. I have loved our light hearted and deep conversations.

Here is glimpse of what’s going on over there:

There are times in my life where I have presented God with my prioritized prayers. It’s funny because I am not at all an organized person, nor am I a person who is goal oriented. I have definitely caught myself submitting priority prayer lists to God. With these lists I am basically saying, “okay God these prayers are about long-term future requests and these, right here, are for your immediate attention.”

I think God looks at my requests and has to chuckle. In reality, all of my requests are on his timeline. I look back and can’t even imagine what my life would be like, or the repercussions that would have ensued had he granted my requests. I think I know better, but I have learned that he always knows best.

The story of Lazarus is one of those stories that illustrates waiting prayer for me. All of the bullet points of logic didn’t make sense why Jesus would wait to heal Lazarus.

Check out the rest of the story at


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I have referenced before that trust is hard for me. I am pretty skeptic when it comes to taking a step in faith. My first instinct is to protect myself. My logic assesses the situation and then weighs the trust level. This mentality makes faith hard for me. It would technically be called “controlled faith.

The gospel of John is my go-to book in the bible. When I want to read about Jesus, it is John’s perspective that I run too. When I want to read about God’s love, John is where I start. When I just want to be reminded of a man who believed and understood that God loved him, John is my boy.

I am always drawn to the faith of the first twelve disciples. I love reading about their questions, skepticism, and remarks, when they were first introduced to Jesus. I also like watching their responses shift to being blown away by Jesus.

Lately, I have been stuck on Nathaniel. Nathaniel was the brother of Philip. Nathaniel was a skeptic. His response to his brother’s claim of finding the Messiah reminds me of what I might have said. Nathaniel’s response was one of question and maybe of self protection.

What draws me into this story is how quickly the shift in trust and belief happens. Jesus takes Nathaniel’s skepticism head on. Jesus calls out Nathaniel in personality and truth. Jesus describes Nathaniel as, “one without deceit.” Nathaniel, I’m sure taken aback, responds with confusion. Jesus simply states, “I saw you while you were still under the fig tree before Philip called you.

It took one way of being known by Jesus. One thing shifted the faith of Nathaniel. Skeptisim melts to embrace. Protection changes to trust.

It took something tangible for Nathaniel to believe. Mind you it was not something big, but something. It took a fig tree kind of faith for Nathaniel to believe.

I started reading on and in the proceeding two chapters there are numerous stories of people believing after witnessing a miracle. People would also demand a miraculous sign before they would believe what Jesus was saying.

I had to ask myself, do I have fig tree faith? Do I only let down the walls of self-protection if I see something tangible regarding God? Do I settle for fig tree faith when God is telling me, “you will see greater things than these?

I want to believe in the God of “greater things.” I know my trust comes with proof. Where is the faith in that? Honestly, there is no faith. Faith happens when we are waiting in hope in the unseen. Faith believes in the not yet and hopes in the dream of some day. God is known in those places. Faith is the place of “greater things.

Are you settling for fig tree faith?

How are you hoping in the unknown?

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