Move that bus!!

Thank you so much to everyone who hangs out here! I am working on revamping this site! Really excited about the new look and ideas that I am working on! 

Stay tuned for a new look coming soon right here!! 

In the mean time, I would love to know how YOU are doing and what new things are going on in your world!!

Life Story Being Written.

 

Choosing change is risky and hard. It takes courage and hope. 

There are just times in life when you know something is no longer working. This could look like a behavior, coping mechanism, career, or relationship.

Change is meant to bring about motivation and renewed sense of self. I know God uses restlessness in me as motivation to get unstuck in life. Comfortable is safe and predictable, but that does not equal life giving.

He is always writing a continuous story in us and carrying it on to completion. He redeems all things and makes all things new. There is nothing too lost or too broken for Him. He never settles and never gives up. 

I am praying you don’t either. Never settle, never give up. You are worth it. You matter and are more valuable then comprehension.

What is one way you need to tweak your story? 

How do you want your story to read?

Hope

Hope is a seemingly small word, but she packs a big punch

Hope seems fleeting at times, especially in certain seasons of life. I catch glimpses of hope. At times, I even catch glimpses of what I am even hoping for.  There are days where those glimpses seem to fill me up with more hope and motivation, and there are days where hope is silent.  I experience times when I have hope in a moment, and in that same breath feels, like I got the hope knocked right out of me.

I am learning that hope is not meant to be seen or understood, for who hopes in what is seen?  It is the knowledge that unseen things are happening, and the mystery of the unseen that evokes hope.

Hope requires faith and faith hope.

“Faith is being sure of the things hoped for and certain of the things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1)

Hope is the desire we have that something we want can and will happen.  Hope is also the desire that things will turn out for the best, even if it does not look anything like how we hoped.

Guest Posting over at Church 4 Chicks today!! Would love your thoughts over there!! Come hang!

The Truth Behind Trust

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As a kid, I thought I was indestructible. There was no place I wouldn’t explore, and no height too high to jump from.

I didn’t ask questions or think twice about my landings. I was daring and courageous. Don’t even get me started on when I first got my license. God worked over time with me.

As kids, we more readily trusted. We trusted our own abilities as well as others. We were fearless. We risked. We took risks with activities, academics, and relationships.

As adults, trust seems to get harder to do. We begin to institute the “think twice” rule in adulthood. Fears and wounds are introduced over time, and the force field of our hearts seems to grow stronger.

The process of trust is a long journey. It usually requires much reassurance along the way.

Learning to trust is a messy process.

The deception about trust is that it is solely based on the other person. Trusting someone else is no small thing. However, we become unsure of people over time, especially if we have experienced pain and hardship.

The truth about trust issues is not because of the other person, although that is a factor, but the deeper reason for trust issues is that we are unsure of ourselves.

Relationships are constantly growing and changing in our lives. It is hard to keep up with identifying our expectations and wants/needs in our relationships.

An eye opening truth for me is that the kid who used to climb to the highest point of a tree is now fear driven. My fears and insecurities are the lenses through which I see. These fears affect my relationships on every level.

Our fears cause us to undermine and discredit the people in our lives. Conflict and Failure is the inevitable result.

I have trust issues.

They are the thorns in my side. Trust is so hard for me. I am learning that the reason I have trust issues is because I have self-perception issues. The reason I think that people are going to abuse my trust is because deep down I think I am worth the abuse.

To be honest, the more intimate a relationship gets for me the more I play defense with my heart. The more intimate a relationship the more I tend to play out the potential pain in my head. This creates tension and hurt in my relationships.

My trust issues set up failure in a lot of ways. Somewhere in me is the voice that says, “You are worth leaving. You are replaceable. You are not worth your value. You are worth hurt.”

I am not disqualifying the experiences that have contributed to these fears. I have experienced pain that makes trust hard. However, the pain does not equal the truth about me.

I am also not disqualifying that some people are not trustworthy and you have to discern that for yourself.

Most conflicts related to trust begins with our own self-perception.

This is not just our relationships with one another, how we view ourselves affects our relationship with God. I know I dismiss him often by giving the voice of my fears too much weight. It wrecks havoc.

I am so thankful for a God who is patient, gentle, and unconditionally loving. He makes all things new in me.

Trust is a risk that requires surrendering our own understandings. 

What are your hang ups with trust?

What are your self-perceptions that hinder trust?

The In Between…

Road trips are great for a little while, but there is always that moment of, “dang! How long have we been in this car!?”

The start of a road trip is awesome. You’ve got your snacks, tunes, and laughter. The end goal is fast approaching, and anxiously awaiting your arrival.

What about the in between?

There is always an in between before arriving at our destination.

I have been reading the Old Testament lately. I have realized a pattern has developed by the time Saul becomes King. Each person who was anointed by God went through and in between time.

God had a destination for Joseph, but years of development took place before he was appointed into leadership. Moses had some time in the desert before God used him to set his people free. Saul did not go immediately to the castle to be king. David went back to the field before his time of king came to pass. Jesus even needed time to develop in wisdom, stature, and favor.

God always includes an in between time.

However, I have also noticed that each person had a time of rising to the occasion – each person was given their own opportunity.

I have a dream, but feel very much coasting in the in between time. Questions arise in my heart, and hope flickers. Wondering what or if God is doing something.

Starting out somewhere and arriving at a destination is not the most important part to God. Who you are when you get there matters.

God ushered all of his leaders into place. He gave them all the perfect opportunities. I am sure they all had questions stirring deep down of why they were still in “the field” when their hearts beat for more.

They all had to choose to believe in the one who gave the dream. They all had to trust the words of the one who has something ready for them. Even when the in between felt unnecessary, they all had to wait and develop.

I do to. As much as I fight it, I need the in between. I hope I am ready for that opportunity. Honestly, I still hope it is sooner than later, but I will wait. Well… trying really hard to.

Are you waiting in your in between time?

What does development look like for you?

Open Handed Leadership

Leadership is a powerful word. I am sure we can all think of ways that leadership has been carried out well, and ways in which it has been manipulated.

Leadership is no small thing.

The one aspect about leadership that is most forgotten is that leadership is about leading.

Leaders crave influence the most. They desire for their words to have weight; they want to know that what they offer has value.

Leaders are drawn to stepping up into directing roles. Leaders are often enabling situations to offer into.

Leadership requires the character traits of humility, wisdom, compassion, and integrity. I also believe that leadership requires the character trait of open handed leading.

John the Baptist is my hero when it comes to mastering this balance of leadership. He is always my go-to guy when I need a reminder of how open-handed leadership is done well.

What is open-handed leadership?

It is the ability to hold loosely to the ones you are leading. No one is a possession. No one is “ours.”

John the Baptist always made it clear that he was not the Christ. He was so great at directing everyone’s attention and reverence to Jesus. John freely confessed that he was not the Christ.

Do we?

There was even a time where John’s disciples were ranting to him that Jesus, and his disciples, were baptizing more than they were. The people were going out to Jesus instead. John responds by saying that they should. John reminds them that he is not the Jesus.

John came to lead the way to Jesus. This is the same truth for our lives as well.

I am hugely passionate about leadership. I am always drawn to the leadership role. I love soaking up knowledge that pertains to leadership. I will most often step up and pursue the directing role as well.

There is a tension and a balance that needs to be mastered when it comes to leadership. I always need to ask myself the question of, “where am I leading to?” Leaders most often struggle when it comes to the direction of leadership.

I confess to my own human flaws of struggling with the balance of leadership. I love influencing. I love offering. Sometimes I can forget to keep the focus off of me and on the one I am leading for.

I still struggle with jealousy when it comes to leading. I have also been the one ranting to God that more people are going to him than me. That’s just honest. I struggle with fears of having nothing to offer. I struggle with the fears of not being liked, and being made to feel foolish. These are some of my weaknesses wrapped around my love of leadership.

I have been learning a lot from John about the character and value of leading with open hands.

Leadership is about leading well towards him.

So allow me to ask you…where are you leading others to?

Redefining Presentable

Lately, I have been experiencing more and more people who are exhausted from maintaining their own lives. Our culture has been stuck in this mentality that we need to have our lives in order; we need to be presentable people.

This culture’s mentality permeates every area of our lives. We have heard people say phrases like, “I will go to church when I get my life in order,” or “I am too much of a mess for friendships.” Maybe not those phrases specifically, but something similar.

We are broken people who all have scars and wounds. We all have fears and insecurities. The truth is that there is not enough glue in the world for us to keep it all together. It’s exhausting to try. I know I fail so much when I try to hold all of my pieces in place.

There is a man in the gospel of Matthew who has redefined what approaching God looks like for me. Matthew retells the story of a time when a man with Leprosy approached Jesus. He kneeled down before Jesus and asked him for healing.

I was taken aback by the counter-cultural act of authenticity by this community reject. This leper was a man ostracized from his community and family. He was tossed out of his city and home to live among other people like himself. Lepers were considered unclean. This man was quarantined as an outsider sent to wait on death.

This leper saw hope in Jesus. He left behind what he had been labeled as and approached the cleanest of men. He saw a clean man who could make him clean, and the unapproachable approached Jesus. By cultural standards, this man was labeled as too far gone to be helped.

This man has shown me the truth of what presentable really looks like.

You see Jesus came to save the people who knew they needed it. He did not come to save the ones who “had it all together.” My heart looks like this man. The truth is all of our hearts look like a version of the leper. That is the perfect time to approach God.

We are messy people. I am finally getting better at putting down the glue that is not working. No one is presentable enough. That is the point. The church is for the mutually messy hearted people. The church is formed because of people who mutually bring their messiness before the one who saves.

This leper brings even more resounding truth to the verse, “at just the right time when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. But god demonstrates his love for us in this; while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

Christ did not wait until we were a people who had the right glue. He did not wait until we were presentable enough. Christ came in the midst of our powerless moments; he came in the midst of our sin. He touches our hearts and says, “I am willing.”

Christ came for the broken and wounded while they were still in that place. He came for the hopeless in the midst of their hopelessness, not after. Christ came for the “in the midst.”

I am kneeling my messy heart before him and claiming that as presentable enough.

Do you try and hold it all together? Why?